Do not try to control everything
Stress begins when, in certain circumstances, the demands placed on you exceed your ability to control them. The more control you have, the less stressed you are, and vice versa. Use the “internal control lever” to stop feeling like a victim of circumstances and manage any situation. For this, you will need certain efforts to realize your first spontaneous reaction to what is happening and switch to making informed and focused decisions.
Any problem consists of 50% of the factors that we can control, and the other 50% that are beyond our control. What is beyond your control attracts you like a magnet attracts metal. However, focusing on factors that you cannot control, you automatically set yourself up for stress and again fall into a vicious circle that you don’t see a way out of. Remember that when you are squeezed in the grip of stress, you need to concentrate only on what you can fix. The very feeling that you are able to control something increases your resistance to stress. In fact, even a one-minute visualization of how you change the situation for the better will fill you with positive emotions and reduce fear.
Think of problems as temporary.
It is much easier to maintain stability under stress when treating problems as temporary difficulties that will be resolved sooner or later. In other words: “The problem will be quickly resolved. It affects only one specific situation, and not my whole life. I can handle it. ” This view of the situation will be your vaccine against the feeling of helplessness and depression. Even if changes occur constantly, you can adapt to them: the main thing is to perceive them as a development process during which the current confusion and chaos will ultimately give you new opportunities.
People who adapt well to change can be called realistic optimists. How to become like that?
Switch to "thinking development." Two types of thinking are peculiar to people. “Fixed thinking” - when they rely only on their own knowledge, and everything that goes beyond this framework is perceived as an erroneous opinion. And “thinking of development” - when they consider learning as a process and therefore are not afraid to make mistakes and thereby gain new experience.
Move away
If you can’t see the gap and nothing changes for the better, even if you have to exert extra effort to achieve a modest result, it's time to step back a little from the situation. This can be the optimal solution in many cases: when changes occur in your company and you have to come to terms with the current conditions for a while; when you have to deal with a difficult colleague or business partner to communicate with, but you are still not in a position to dictate your terms. Applying the principle of "reasonable detachment" in practice, you, on the one hand, are involved in the process and contribute, and on the other hand, you are emotionally abstracted from any outcome of your efforts. Participate only in those battles that are worthy of your time and energy. Draw a line: what negative impact can you steadfastly accept and which cannot? Remember that you must stay on the “healthy side” of the trait.
Learn to "turn off"
Your nervous system determines your natural response to stress and consists of the “on” button and the “off” button, which ideally should work in tandem. The “on” button is the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). It energizes and helps to concentrate on the problem. She responds to external stimuli such as emails or the voice of your supervisor. It turns on automatically every time you need energy recharge. The “off” button is the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
It regulates all the basic functions of the body at rest, including breathing, heart rate and sleep cycles. While the SNS turns on your stress-implementing system, the PNS turns it off. You must learn to activate PNS purposefully.
To develop endurance, athletes use interval training, between which there are periods of recovery and replenishment of energy. This is the so-called “intense exercise / relaxation” model. Designate the periods of "on" and "off" in the schedule of the day. For recovery, choose activities that relax you, or activities that fill you with energy. The best option is to alternate them.
Breathe right
There are many ways to press the “off” button. Methods such as breathing exercises and meditation have gained popularity because they do not require special conditions and can be easily resorted to right at the workplace. According to neurobiologist Sonya Sequeira, by slowing down your breath or consciously regulating it, you break the automatic breathing patterns, as well as the subconscious emotional patterns that are based on them.
For example, you can perform the exercise "breathing in three stages" several times a day to reduce the activity of the SNA. Inhale through the nose, hold your breath, exhale through the nose - all on an equal footing (for example, inhale by five counts, hold your breath by five counts and exhale by five counts). Connect the fingertips of both hands to balance the right and left hemispheres. The duration of the exercise is three minutes, once or twice a day or during overloads. To obtain more effective results, you can perform the exercise daily and increase its duration to 7–11 minutes.
Prioritize
The best way to keep your internal routine under control is to try to keep all your thoughts in one direction. This phenomenon is known as directional thinking. Imagine the result you want to achieve, and then think, feel and act to achieve it. When you have a clear idea of your goal, it helps you focus on the circumstances that you are able to influence.
It is very important to teach the brain to direct your attention only to the incoming stimulus that is most relevant to your priorities, filtering out everything that is insignificant.
If you constantly remember what result you want to achieve, you can teach your nervous system to pause to consider the next step. The clearer you present your priorities, the easier it will be for you to achieve a conscious rather than automatic response to the stimulus. When it seems to you that you are overloaded, one way or another, the problem is the lack of clarity in a certain part of the priority distribution chain. Clarity first of all means that you are aware of what your goals are and why they originally became them.
Delegate
Look for opportunities to delegate functions and tasks. It's like juggling. It is necessary to distinguish between glass and rubber balls: attention should be paid to glass balls, and rubber balls should not be scared to drop or pass on to someone else. If you cannot delegate duties for the reason that there are no people around you who can do the necessary work, go “your half way.” Make sure that employees who do not show proper results have the opportunity to prove themselves. On the other hand, in the absence of progress, do not be shy and find someone who will perform the task better. A significant part of the stress is due to the fact that we put up with low qualifications or avoid direct discussion of unsatisfactory results, trying to maintain "diplomacy".
Correctly say no
Here are some tips for saying no, without any remorse. Be straightforward - convey clearly and clearly to the interlocutor why you cannot fulfill his request at all or within the deadlines set by him. Ask for more time or replay the task. Change his expectations! Sincerely share your feelings: “When you just asked me about it, I took the task with enthusiasm, because [...], but then I thought it over well” or “I am very sorry, but I can’t help you with anything ...”. If it’s especially difficult for you now, you can “shift the blame” to another: “I promised (to my husband, son, etc.) that I will have dinner at home at least three times a week.” Answer “no” to a specific request, but try to keep the possibility of relations in the future. Offer to do what you really are able to do, even if your offer is different from the original request. Also, be sure to ask how things are going the next time you meet this person.
Get Less Distracted
Someone always distracts you and will distract you from work - this is inevitable. Nevertheless, treat your time, energy and attention as valuable and non-renewable resources that should be protected. Most office workers are interrupted on average 7 times per hour - approximately 56 times per working day. As a result, we spend 2.1 hours a day on distractions. Perhaps you believe that since others distract you, it is they who should stop doing this. You sincerely hope that they will read your thoughts and themselves will guess what you think about them when they distract you!
You must have thoughtful and strict criteria about what situation deserves your immediate attention. If you really want to avoid distractions, the easiest way is to turn off notifications of new letters and not answer the phone. In addition, you can “add them to your schedule” so that you can control the time when
